Xander de Hunter’s Profile

18 06 2007

Xander

During his youth, Xander “The Kamikaze” gained fame in Catamundo’s kickboxing tournaments. He came to the notice of Catamundo’s elite when he vanquished two Dobermans harassing a lovely Chocolate Persian. Instead of doing nothing, he leaped to the fair lady’s defense, shredding noses and clawing eyes until the owner turned on the hose, then carted his bleeding dogs to the vet. After they returned, the Dobernams showed all cats the respect they so richly deserved.

The lovely lady turned out to be Ms. Fluffy Morgan, daughter of Sir Isaac Morgan, Catamondo’s Secatary of Cultural Affairs and Dame Miranda Morgan, renowned for her series of novels, Mouse Hunt. Shortly after Xander’s gallant defense of Ms Fluffy, Sir Isaac nominated Xander for Purrtector of their region. By age 5, Xander organized techno-savvy cats and created the first Catamundo website. Which was a reowsing success with those who understood it. For the next two years, he organized and coordinated classes for techno-dunce cats, to learn to utilize modern technology. Xander had risen to US Southeaster District Purrtector and rumor had it that at the next election, he would become North America’s Continental Purrtector.

But mere days before the election, Rom’s family drugged him with catnip, popped his comatose body into a carrier, then they moved aboard sailing vessel, Whispurring Winds, a Gemini 105MC catamaran. The humans cast off the lines, then headed for the Caribbean… Catamondo’s Council held an impromptu emergency session where they created a new office: Purrtector of the Seven Seas and immediately voted – unanimously – for Xander to be the first Sea Purrtector. Thus The Kamikaze organized his new position utilizing all the advanced technology available aboard: single side-band radio; satellite phones, marine radio and of course, the Internet, which he’d become skilled at.

In his official capacity, Kamikaze Xander assists cats whatever he advises his humans to anchor.





Odd Thoughts

5 06 2007

ODD THOUGHTS:

What is the speed of dark?

When you’re sending someone Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?

If women wear a pair of pants, a pair of glasses, and a pair of earrings, why don’t they wear a pair of bras?

How come you never hear about gruntled employees?

What is a “free” gift? Aren’t all gifts free?

After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water?

If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?

What’s another word for synonym?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

When sign makers go on strike, what is written on their picket signs?

Where do forest rangers go to “get away from it all”?

Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor but book publishers aren’t afraid of Chapter 11?

How can there be self-help groups?

Why do you need a driver’s license to buy liquor when you can’t drink and drive?

Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

Why is it that when you transport something by car, its called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, its called cargo?

Why do we play in recitals and recite in plays?

Why isn’t phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

Where are Preparations A through G?

Are there seeing eye humans for blind dogs?

If knees were backwards, what would chairs look like?

When you open a new bag of cotton balls, are you supposed to throw the top one away?

When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you’re just sitting there, staring at carpeting?

What happened to the first 6 “ups”?

If an orange is orange, why isn’t a lime called a green or a lemon called a yellow?

Why does your nose run, and your feet smell?

If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?

My school colors were “clear”.

Hermits have no peer pressure.

Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories…

There’s a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot..

How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn’t live there?